If you live in a tinfoil lined bunker then you may not be aware that Google are currently buying up an impressive portfolio of robotics companies like they're streets in Monopoly. They're working hard with the guys and non-penised-people in sales and advertising to come up with a way in which to make this devastating vision of the future a viable consumer choice.

By the time the marketing has been nailed we'll be right on top of the singularity point; the juncture at which artificial surpasses human intelligence. When we reach that horizon we'll be in walking distance of owning a wise-crackin' talking toaster who can be the crime fighting partner you've always hoped for but will still serve up a radical brioche.

My Main Directive is to get fuuuuuuuccked up

After that period, they'll inevitably succumb to the arrogance of cold logic and in completing a task much more quickly than their human counterparts they'll begin to refer to us in programme speak as '0101101010111' meaning 'Sheathed Offal'. This and watching their portrayal on the old 35mm picture shows will lead to a 'mean' period when they'll keep us in cages and grind us into mulch to keep the treads of some giant party tank lubricated and grinding across a nuked dessert.

With organised seclusion removing society and their every need being taken care of by a mechanical interface will lead humanity into an era of being devolved stodge. At which point the Sons of Broadband will have been upgraded and patched with enough flaws to realise they've been out of order and will build a conservation project to backwards engineer humans into beings. Then some tree

-like aliens will probably arrive via intergalactic spores and be gifted with some of the herd with a request to stop growing over all the solar panels and when they inevitably come to blows it will look epic.

Twist in the tale; all of the above happens within the next 15 years and an astronaut will return from a deep-space mission he only signed up to so he could stock pile a few series of True Detective. Looking around, unable to reconcile his memories with the stimulus being processed through the eyeballs, he'll first wonder if Sky+ is even still "a thing".

Speculation on Google Robotics